Hot Wheels: White Male Caught Trying To Sexually Penetrate A Parked Vehicle
*Hat Tip: Stephen S.

A barbarian had to be Tasered by police because he wouldn’t stop trying to have sex with a car exhaust. Ryan Scott Malek’s was four times the legal alcohol limit when police found him in a questionable position with a parked car on May 1. Officers tried to get him to stop, but persistent savage, from Newton, Kansas, US, kept going.


The car rapist was reportedly ‘oblivious’ to what he was doing, so police decided to Taser him, according to the Smoking Gun. It appears the car fucker had an audience of six other witnesses watching him at the time, court documents revealed. The 24-year-old sex terrorist was taken to hospital and given a chance to sober up.


He later pleaded guilty to lewd and lascivious behavior and was put on probation for one year. According to police arrest logs, the "autophile" (how do you even call this type of sex criminal?) was arrested for aggravated assault and use of a deadly weapon in February.